Goodbye Prime
To the tune of: "Goodbye Earl" by The Dixie Chicks
Written by: Liana
Click for a MIDI of the song
 


      

       
      
 

      
Liana's 
        notes and disclaimer:

        I do not in any way encourage domestic violence and premeditated murder. 
        If you don't like the original song, Goodbye Earl by the Dixie Chicks, 
        then do not read this. This is done in fun.  

      
Other: If you like 
        the song and have seen the video, imagine the cast as this: 
      
Cast 
      
Chromia as herself

        Elita-1 as herself

        Optimus Prime as himself

        Cops-Prowl and Ironhide

        Lawyer-Starscream

        Doctors and Nurses in hospital-Ratchet, First Aid, Firestar, Moonracer 
        and other Femmes

        People at stand-Jazz, Blaster, Zombie Optimus Prime (hehehe), Arcee, Ultra 
        Magnus, Hot Rod, Springer, and Blurr
       
      
Nightwind's 
        note: Never mind Liana's cautious babble. :) This is one of my favorite 
        songs for what might be obvious reasons. (Almost as good as Martina McBride's 
        "Independence Day.") And since I have no great love for Optimus Prime... 
        :) 
      



      
Chromia and Elita-1 
        were the best of friends

        All through their academy days

        Both members of the Autobot Club

        Both active in the FFA*

        After graduation Chromia went out lookin' for a brand new world

        Elita looked all around this town and all she found was Prime 
      
 Well it wasn't two 
        weeks 

        after she got married that

        Elita started getting abused

        She put on dark glasses and long sleeved blouses

        And make-up to cover a bruise

        Well she finally got the nerve to file for divorce

        She let the law take it from there

        But Prime walked right through that restraining order

        And put her in intensive care 
      
 
      
Right away Chromia 
        flew in from Iacon 

        On a red eye midnight flight 

        She held Elita's hand as they

        Worked out a plan

        And it didn't take 'em long to decide 
      
 
      
That Prime had to 
        die

        Goodbye Prime

        Those little energon goodies 

        They tasted all right to me Prime

        You're feelin' weak

        Why don't you lay down and sleep Prime

        Ain't it dark

        Wrapped up in that tarp Prime? 
      
The cops came by to 
        bring Prime in

        They searched the house

        high and low

        Then they tipped their hats

        and said, "thank you ladies

        if you hear from him let us know" 
      
 
      
Well the weeks went 
        by and

        Spring turned to Summer

        And Summer faded into Fall

        And it turns out he was a missing person

        who nobody missed at all 
      
 
      
So the girls bought 
        some land

        and a roadside stand

        out on Highway 109

        They sell Tennessee ham

        and strawberry jam

        and they don't lose

        any sleep at night 'cause

        
      
 
      
Prime had to die

        Goodbye Prime 

        We need a break

        Let's go out to the lake Prime

        We'll pack a lunch

        And stuff you in the trunk Prime

        Well is that all right

        Good Let's go for a ride

        Prime hey 
      
 
      
*Femmes Fatale Association

        (The Dixie Chicks do not advocate premeditated murder, but love getting 
        even.)