[Plot Details][Opinions][Great Moments][Rating]

A Decepticon Raider in King Arthur's Court in a Nutshell...
A couple of 'Bots and a few 'Cons do the time warp again and end up in something that's supposed to be the 6th century...

More Than...You Want to Know!

Warning! Warning! Major spoilers ahead! Proceed at your own risk!

Don't want to read everything that happened in this episode? Well, fine! Be that way! You can just darn well click here and go on to the next part, ya spoilsport!

Poor Starscream's had a tough day, along with his "buddies" Ramjet, Rumble, and Ravage. All low on energy, they still have to battle Warpath. At least Ramjet can still ram, and, to prove it, he plays chicken with Warpath...and loses. Warpath sends Ramjet flying right into his fellow Decepticons and sending them all hurtling into what looks like a piece of Stonehenge (All right, what is it with TFs and the whole obsession with Stonehenge-like things...? ) Starscream wants to get the heck outta there, but Rumble detects energy emanating from the stones. Ravage doesn't waste any time, taking off into the interior of the circle. Starscream's sensors indicate that the energy is stronger inside, so the Decepticons dash into the thing, following on Ravage's heels. As they flee, Warpath shoots after them, causing one of the stone lintels to disintegrate and collapse, sealing the Decepticons inside a stone room with an altar-like arrangement in its center. Rumble wonders what the place is, and Starscream optimistically names it their tomb. Rumble begs to differ, however. He's at the "altar," which is inscribed with a row of runic- looking symbols. There's energy there, he insists, just as Starscream said. Impatiently knocking Rumble aside, Starscream leaps at the altar, running a finger along each of the symbols in turn, which subsequently light up in blue.

Outside, meanwhile, Warpath and Hoist work at clearing away the fallen rock. Or actually, Hoist works at clearing away the debris while Warpath complains...

Inside, Starscream's gotten to the end of the long row of symbols. The altar and the rest of the room is engulfed in a bright blue glow for a moment or two. When it dies down, Ramjet looks over his shoulder and notices that the door isn't blocked anymore. Starscream notices that the Autobots are gone. Rumble just wants some freakin' energy, for pity's sake. Ravage, as usual, is silent... The Decepticons head off into the countryside but, unbeknownst to them, they have a watcher. A female human watcher. She wonders about these funky giant armored "knights" emerging from the "dragon mound" as said "knights" traipse off into the countryside. (Why are the strains of "Bravely Bold Sir Robin" from Monty Python and the Holy Grail suddenly rattling around in my head...? )

Eventually, Rumble alerts the others that there are "Robots ahead!" and he notes with alarm that the "weird-lookin' Autobots" are attacking him. Of course, the attackers aren't robots, much less Autobots. They're just your average knights in shining armor. They've figured that Rumble is a spy for the "Red Knight" and they go charging at Rumble...until Ramjet and Starscream leap over the crest of the hill, that is, scaring the bejeesus out of the knights' horses and the knights as well. "Ee-gads!" one of them exclaims. "Giants!" (Er...That's putting it mildly...) Starscream knocks one of the knights off his horse with his hand, while Ramjet bashes the other with his head, after which he impugns the knights for having "inferior construction," whereupon Starscream finally figures out, by yanking one of the humans' helmets off, that their adversaries aren't robots at all, but merely humans "pretending to be robots." (Apparently, medieval history is not Starscream's strong suit, poor chap. :) He doesn't know a knight in shining armor when he sees one... ) One of the humans, the one that Screamer took the helmet from--one Sir Wagend of Blackthorne--takes offense at that, insisting that he "pretends to nothing" and then he asks who the heck they are. Starscream introduces himself, and hands Wagend's helmet down to Rumble. Wagend's so-far-nameless companion marvels that he'd dearly love to see the new arrivals "a-raid against Sir Atheling the Red." Rumble notes that they could probably use the help as he hands Wagend's helmet back to Wagend. "Interesting technology but not very modern," he scoffs, whereupon Wagend insists that it was made that very year. Rumble asks what year that is and Wagend answers "543 anno Domini." (HAH! Yeah, right...Not with that suit of armor you're wearing, it's not, buddy! ) It's at this point that Starscream finally figures out that they've gone back in time. (I mean, I love the guy, but he's not all that swift sometimes, is he? :)) And then he informs Wagend that he's going to help him defeat his enemy, the "Red something-or-other." (Yeah, you know! That guy!)

Meanwhile, the spy chick is still watching and she's most distressed at that last proclamation of Starscream's. "Those magical knights against my father?" she says breathily. "I must warn him." And as she runs off, she steps on a stick... which snaps under her foot...which alerts Ravage to her presence. "A spy!" Wagend exclaims. (Is it me or is this Wagend guy a bit paranoid? Whenever he comes across someone, he immediately proclaims that he/she is a spy. Geez!) The two humans leap onto their horses and go off to get the spy. Ravage tags along, and Rumble and Ramjet make a move to follow. They're stayed by Starscream, though. He's going to let Rav deal with the spy...and he gleefully notes that they've got 1,451 years before they have to worry about the Autobots or Megatron (Well, at least he put the Autobots at the head of the list...)

Meanwhile, the spy chick runs into a thicket of brambles, which the horses the two human pursuers are riding refuse to enter. Ravage has no such compunctions, however. Spy Chick takes off again, exiting out the other side of the thicket. Looking over her shoulder to see if Ravage followed her, she runs right into Spike, poor girl. (Where the heck did he come from...?). Ravage leaps out of the thicket, overshoots his quarry by just a wee bit, and gets plowed by Warpath, who is just emerging from the "dragon mound," for his troubles. Outnumbered, he wisely takes off, snarling all the way.

Apparently, Starscream was a little off in terms of how long he's have to wreak havoc before the Autobots showed up... Because there Warpath and Hoist are, in all their glory. Spy Chick announces that they have to leave before the dragon returns. So, while Warpath muses that Spy Chick must be referring to Starscream, they head off into the countryside. As they stroll, Hoist notes that Spy Chick's outfit dates to 542 AD. (More like maybe 1142, if you ask me...but my opinion doesn't count, of course.) Spy Chick, though, notes that fashion is always a year behind "Camelot" out in the countryside. "Camelot?" Spike densely echoes, and then for no reason at all, he kisses Spy Chick's hand. Spy Chick finally introduces herself as...er..."Nimily?" (Or "Nimowee" or something like that. I can never make out her name. It sucks being basically half- deaf sometimes... Let's just call her "Nim," OK?) Spike says, "I'm Spike." The Autobots rudely do not offer their names. Nim asks if the Autobots will fight against the other giant knights. Warpath responds that they'd like nothing better. (He would...) The two transform, Spike and Nim climb aboard Hoist, and they're off!

Next thing we know, we're in a castle that looks like Cinderella's castle from Disneyland, turrets and flying pennants and all. Hoist's talking to Sir Atheling who is sitting on a horse and who, true to his moniker of "The Red Knight," is wearing red. Hoist notes that if the Decepticons are fighting for his enemies, Atheling's in deep doo-doo. And, speaking of deep doo-doo, Spike's trying on a suit of armor. (Bad idea, kid. I once wore a half suit--breastplate, vambraces, gaunlets, and elbow and shoulder pieces--for a day at a Renaissance fair...I'll never do it again! It's hot. It's heavy. And, when you've got an itch, you can't scratch it! Ick!) In any case, he's not having much luck. All he can do is fall over. He asks for Hoist's help. Hoist sets about making him a new suit. (Hoist the Armorer...Who'da thunk it?) As he works, Hoist asks why Atheling and Sir Wagend are feuding. Turns out it's over cows (Why, I'll never know. In medieval England, cattle-raising was not exactly a big industry. Sheep, on the other hand...) Anyway, originally the Atheling/Wagend feud was begun by a differing opinion over cows and a ruined fence and then escalated into a screaming match over land (Sorta like the way a minor argument on ATT can just snowball into something else... :) ) and who owns it. Atheling's arranged to host a tournament that will hopefully settle the argument peacefully, he hopes... Meanwhile, as Atheling was speaking, Hoist finishes Spike's armor...and then gets low energy warnings...(So, uh, Hoist? Why'd you just waste energy making a suit of armor for a kid who really has no business wearing one, hmmmm? ) And in that split-second of time that it took for Hoist to comment that he's low on energy, Spike's managed to get into his suit of armor all by himself (Poppycock! Took me a half hour just to get into a half-suit. And that was with two people helping me! The undergarmets and all the laces are a bitch... :) That's why knights had squires, to help them get dressed! :)) and promptly falls over. Nim's happy enough, though. She names Spike her champion at the tournament the next day. (Geez, she must really have a thing for rooting for the underdog...)

It's tournament day! And, oddly enough, hardly anyone is in attendance... :) Nevertheless, Spike gets to do his knight thing. Hoist loads the armored Spike up onto a horse. Warpath hands him a shield emblazoned with the Autobot symbol and a lance, tells Spike to "hang onto his horse," and Spike's off! Nim cheers for him wildly as he charges at the other knight. And, for Spike's pains, he gets trounced, though he does manage to hang onto his horse...or his horse's tail, at least... "Some champion," Nim laments. (Yeah, like you couldn't see it coming...)

Meanwhile, Atheling and Wagend have met. Peace talks fail, however, and Atheling says, resigned, that he'll meet Wagend at arms. The winner will be declared lord over the entire countryside. But Wagend begs to differ. Atheling will, instead, meet Wagend's champions, "Sir Rumble" and "Sir Ramjet." Never fear, though, because Warpath is all too willing to play horsie with Atheling. So it's Warpath and Atheling against Rumble and Ramjet. Starscream, meanwhile, is pissed. He insists that the medieval world is "my world to conquer. Mine!" ("Mine! Mine!" Geez, suddenly Screamer's transformed into a two-year-old... One can almost hear Megs growling, "Oh, stop whining!")

Meanwhile, back at the joust, the opponents are charging at one another...and Ramjet ends up with a bashed-in nose for his trouble, poor guy. Nim meanwhile, cheers for her father's victory and runs off to scold Wagend.

Starscream, however, has had enough "chivalrous nonsense." (I'm with you, Screamer!) He takes matters into his own hands. Snatching up Nim as hostage, he demands that Atheling turn over his kingdom ("Kingdom?" Uh, Screamer? Atheling's a mere knight--Hence the title "Sir." He doesn't have a kingdom to surrender to you...) to him or else Atheling will never see his daughter again. And with that, he tosses Nim into the air, transforms, catches Nim in his cockpit, and takes off while the other Decepticons scramble to follow. He tries to fly, but doesn't have the energy to do so. Hoist and Warpath, in pursuit of the Decepticons, don't have enough energy to stay in vehicle mode. (Though I can't imagine why...Why would a lack of energy cause them to transform to robot mode? Why wouldn't it just trap them in whatever mode they were in at the time? I sense a plot convenience here... :) ) As they watch the Cons ride off into the sunset, so to speak, Hoist notes that they have to do something or the 6th century will never be the same. (Don't worry, Hoist. It wasn't like this anyway... :)) And, as he says this, we see that there's an owl circling over the scene, although why an owl would be out and about during the day is anyone's guess...

But, in any case, the owl is there, taking in the scene for a moment. Then it flies off and finds a guy with a long beard and long hair wearing green robes and a pointy hat, and carrying a shepherd's crook without a sheep in sight. Could it be a sorcerer, do you think? Gee, what should we call him, huh? How 'bout...Merlin! :) So Merlin...er...talks to the owl, whose name is Solomon, for a bit and learns all about the Transformers in their midst. "Make some idiot twenty feet tall, and he thinks he rules the Earth," Merlin laments. (And here we thought that size didn't matter... :)) And then he wanders off to do who knows what.

Meanwhile, at another Disneyland castle, Rumble's shoving Nim into a straw- filled chamber in the keep. (Geez, who is she? The princess from Rumplestiltskin??) Wagend, meanwhile, confronts Rumble. He thinks that kidnapping Nim was stupid enough but to keep her in his castle... Ah, but Starscream, appearing out of nowhere to hang by his forearms from the battlement, begs to differ. He thinks he's in charge and he thinks it's his castle and that it'll soon be his world. And then he coughs, sputters, and falls. Rumble notes that if they don't find some energy, they're goners. Never fear, though! Screamer's got a plan. (And I'll bet he loves it when a plan comes together.) Wulf (Yes, we finally learn the name of Wagend's little knight buddy from the beginning of the episode in this scene) brings Screamer a chest full of gold and jewels and, despite Wagend's protest that the stuff belonged to his grandmother (Again, one can almost hear Megatron growl, "Oh, stop whining!"), Starscream smushes a handful of gold in his hand to produce wire for his new electric dynamo...

Speaking of which...Ah, here we are... Men doing men's work again. This time, it's six muscular, stripped-to-the-waist men pushing the "turret" of the dynamo around, creating friction which, in turn, creates electrostatic energy. Ravage and Rumble make a move to start soaking the energy up, but Screamer steps in front of them, claiming that he needs the energy more than they do. Rumble complains that Screamer needs to hurry it up but Screamer scoffs that there's hardly enough to charge his "basic life support system." And then he yells at the "malingering" (Ooooh, good word, Screamer!) half-naked men to move faster. (Geez, where's master slave overlord Soundwave when you need him??) The men merely groan in response.

Back at Atheling's place, Spike's lamenting that he should have protected Nim. He was, after all, her champion. (And man, did she choose a bad one... :)) Warpath says that he kinda sorta feels guilty, too. And, as he gets called away by Hoist, he basically tells Spike to go rescue her. (Oh, good plan, Warpath! Just send Spike in to certain doom, why don't you? On second thought, though...Maybe that's not such a bad idea after all... :) )

Meanwhile, Starscream's finally finished charging up. He goes to micromanage Ramjet, who's got a bonfire going, busily making charcoal. (I guess Screamer's got a hankering for some BBQ ribs, maybe??) He turns around, notices that Rav and Rumble are basking in the glow of the dynamo and tells them to get their keisters outta there and go find some sulfur. (Ewwww, who'd want it? It's stinky!) Rumble notes that they need potassium nitrate, too...(Charcoal, sulfur, potassium nitrate...? Oh, I get it...! :)) "Don't tell me you're going to fetch it?" Rumble taunts as a passing seagull overhead mistakes Starscream's red-and-white colors for a giant bullseye and lets one fly. The gull's "present" lands right on top of Screamer's head.. Rather than be disgusted, though, it gives Screamer an idea. He's a-gonna send Rumble for the potassium nitrate which, of course, is found in abundance in bird poop... :) "Me and my big mouth," Rumble laments. (Gods, but I love that guy... :) )

Meanwhile, up in the keep, Nim's pouting. And then she gets a visitor in the form of one Sir Wagend of Blackthorne. Needless to say, Nim's none too pleased. She throws things at Wagend (Hey, if they were Klingons, this'd be foreplay...). And then they go for a roll in the hay, with Nim on top. :) (Geez, never thought I'd write that for a G1 TF ep summary. Maybe for a BW Blackarachnia/Silverbolt thing, but never for a G1 ep... :) ) But alas, it's not the fun kind of roll in the hay. They're merely duking it out...and Nim wins! Sort of... Actually, it's more like Wagend doesn't put up much of a fight. He's realized that he's allied with the wrong giant knights. And then he tells Nim that she's got "most beautiful" eyes, at which point she gets all mushy and then Spike shows up to ruin the mood. He's climbed up the vines conveniently growing up the side of the keep. (Geez, that's quite a feat when wearing a full suit of armor... The kid's stronger than he looks.) But apparently poor Spike hasn't reckoned that he weighs three times more than normal in the suit of armor and the vines give way and he plummets to his doom...except that the moat cushions his fall. (Shucks!) He sinks to the bottom of the moat...but he somehow manages to break apart the armor (Geez, he is stronger than he looks!) and, fully clothed in standard khaki shirt, blue pants, and yellow boots, he swims to the surface.

Spike breaks the surface just in time to hear Rumble yelling for the drawbridge to be lowered. He dives for cover. The drawbridge comes down, and Rumble stomps across, his shoulders caked in white bird poop with a gull sitting on one shoulder. "I've got your stupid potassium nitrate," he grumbles. Ramjet, meeting Rumble on the other side of the drawbridge burbles that they've already got the sulfur and charcoal. Coming up for air, Spike's apparently miraculously overheard the Decepticons while he was under water. He wonders what the heck the Cons are going to do with those ingredients. (Gee, I wonder... :) )

"Double, double, toil and trouble. Fire burn and cauldron bubble." And a cauldron it is. Starscream's stirring it up. He notes that they don't have lasers anymore but, thanks to the ingredients that they've gathered, what they do have is..."Gunpowder!" Ramjet marvels as Starscream tosses a handful of the stuff at poor Wulf, and it goes boom. (See? Who says that Transformers aren't educational? We all just learned how to make gunpowder, did we not? Oh, that'd go over real big in the anti-gun 21st century, eh?) Starscream hopes that the Autobots will be "stupid enough" to make a rescue attempt. (Oh, no worries there, Screamer darlin'...)

Meanwhile, Spike's finally made it back up to Nim's cell, announcing that he's there to rescue her from the evil clutches of Sir Wagend. Well, my boy, you're too late...because Nim's already decided that she's going to marry Wagend (After all, he's really good in the hay... ;) ). Spike groans. (Aw, don't worry about it, kid. After all, she looks to be about 16 or 17 or so. If she was really a daughter of a medieval nobleman, she'd have been married for four or five years already. Maybe even longer... :) )

Outside, Atheling and the Bots are gathering to lay siege to Wagend's castle. Warpath uproots an innocent tree to use for a weapon and calls for a charge. The Decepticons, though, attack with their secret weapon, barrel-fuls of gunpowder which they loft into the air with catapults. (Must be very special gunpowder, since it has the ability to ignite and explode without the benefit of a spark to set it off...) Atheling's siege engines go up in smoke. Now they've got no way to scale the castle walls, Atheling laments. (Never fear, Sir Atheling! That's why they invented 20-foot-tall robots! :) )

As the army approaches the castle, Ramjet appears on the outer curtain walls and chucks some barrels o' gunpowder at the Autobots. Hoist falls, making a convenient bridge across the moat, and the army advances.

Meanwhile, inside the castle, Wagend orders Wulf to help them oust the Decepticons, but Wulfie's not impressed, noting that Starscream relieved Wagend of his command and, therefore, Wulf will only help him into the moat, and he tosses the unfortunate lord over the wall. After that, he faces the incredibly daunting task of defeating Spike. (Geez, I know who I'd lay a wager on... :) ) Drawing his broadsword (Well, I think it's supposed to be a broadsword, at least...except that it's too short...Your average broadsword was at least 4 and half feet long. That's a little under a meter and a half, for you European TransFans. :)) Wulf announces that dealing with Spike will be a pleasure. And then Nim conks him over the head with a stool. (Possibly the same one she threw at Wagend before. She's rather handy with a stool!), announcing that the pleasure was all hers.

Outside, Hoist--who moments ago was being used as a bridge--is now employed as a ladder. He's got humans climbing all over him, up onto the battlements of the castle. Not to be outdone, Warpath, tree in hand, uses his buddy as a ladder, too, much to Hoist's annoyance. Warpath fights a brief tree-to-tree battle with Ramjet up on the battlements (Where'd Ramjet get a tree, I wonder...?) and Ramjet, for once, wins, knocking Warpath down onto Hoist. Both Autobots are just about out of energy and, without energy they are, in the words of Hoist, "done for."

Meanwhile, Spike's tying Wulf up when Ravage attacks! He's bearing down on Spike, who backs himself into a wall (Smooth move, Exlax! :) ) Is this the end of Spike? Tune in tomorrow, same bat time, same bat channel...er, I mean, we'll have to just wait till after the commercial to find out...

Well, it turns out that Solomon the owl saves Spike's hide by swooping in to distract Ravage. Ravage decides he'd rather chase the birdie than eat Spike (Oh, please!) Solomon escapes the ravages of Ravage and flies back to Merlin, who's decided to show his face. Nearby, the Autobots that Autobots are moaning, "...energy..." "So these are the famous giant knights," Merlin says--and he doesn't sound very impressed. But, as Atheling and Wagend run onto the scene, they inform Merlin that if the giant knights don't get the energy they need they'll croak. "Leaving Lord Starscream to stand invincible in this primitive world!" Starscream gloats from the castle battlements. In response, Merlin conjures up a storm, and the lightning zaps his shepherd's crook, energizing it. (But, amazingly, it doesn't electrocute Merlin.) Merlin zaps the Bots with his crook and BOOM! We got your fully functional Autobots here! Well, sort of...They still don't have weapons...but they can transform. And so they do.

They jump the moat and use their vehicle forms to bust through the wall of the castle at ground level, collapsing the wall that Starscream's standing on. He gets conked on the head with a large piece of the wall and is down for the count. Hoist, meanwhile has snagged the dynamo, which Rumble and Ramjet had been frantically setting up again, with a tow line. He lashes the two Decepticons to it by the simple expedient of driving around them a few times and then plays crack the whip, sending the dynamo, with attached Decepticons, flying into Starscream, who was just getting up after being conked by that section of the wall.

When it's all over, Wagend finds a piece of wire from the dynamo and fashions it into a ring for Nim. "It's beautiful," she gushes. Spike sighs wistfully as she runs to joyfully hug her father. Warpath comforts him with a "better luck next time." (After all, what would Carly think????) Meanwhile, from across the castle bailey, the Decepticons are moaning and groaning. "Energy!" Starscream says pitifully. "I need energy!" Ravage, meanwhile, tugs on Rumble's arm like a dog trying to get its master's attention. "What will you do with them?" Merlin asks of Hoist. "Eh, we thought we'd leave 'em here for y'all to deal with," Hoist replies. Oh, not really! Of course, they're going to take the Decepticons back with them! If there's a way to go back, that is...

Well, of course there is, you dorks! You go back the way you came! Geez! Unfortunately, the dragon that gives the "dragon mound" its name--who had been "visiting relatives" according to Merlin (OK, so his real name is Baort, but I like Merlin better!)--is now back home. And he's apparently not in the mood for visitors. "I refuse to go any closer!" Starscream says upon seeing the dragon. (I'm with you, Screamer!) But not to worry. Merlin's got some dragonsbane and it contains everything that he normally puts in it: rock salt, charcoal, sulfur, seagull poop...Sound familar? Yup, it'd be gunpowder, and Warpath chucks a packet of it at the dragon and the dragon's fire breath ignites the gunpowder and the resulting explosion sends the dragon packing. As Warpath and Hoist give each other tens in celebration, Hoist notes that Merlin invented gunpowder, too...And then everyone who belongs in the 20th century enters the dragon mound...

...And emerges to be welcomed by thick fog and laser fire. The arrivals scatter and Starscream, perhaps overjoyed to be home, decks Megatron, yelling, "We're back! We're back!" Megs, however, only complains that Screamer ruined his shot.

"It's the 20th century, all right," Spike notes as he, Warpath, and Hoist clear out.

Megs and Screamer, meanwhile, are getting to their feet. "What's the matter?" Starscream pouts. "Aren't you glad to see us?" Megs response? A wordless yell of pure frustration... What a way to end an episode... :)

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Nightwind's Unsolicited Opinions

If the truth must be told, I have a big ol' love/hate relationship with this episode, an internal war brought about by the conflict in my mind between what this episode is and what I'd like it to be. Suffice it to say that I am a medieval history buff. I would dearly love to rewrite this episode so that it would gain some modicum of historical accuracy, because as it is, it has precious little. As a fantasy piece, it's fine, I suppose… But to be thoroughly honest, I can't stand the whole Arthurian legend, at least insofar as the popular, modern conception of it is concerned. Why? Because it gives people the misguided impression that it's real. It's not. It never was. And it bothers me that this episode sics the whole legend on impressionable kids who might not know any better. So, I feel the need to set the record straight where this episode is concerned, at least. I feel the need to rant a bit. So look out. :)

First off, let's talk about King Arthur for a moment, since he's in the title. :) There was, in fact, a man named Arthur who was, in fact, a king (of a sort) who lived, in fact, in (what became) England or perhaps Wales. But he was a Celtic king and the concept of kingship in the ancient Celtic culture was vastly different than the concept of kingship in the Middle Ages. For one thing, a Celtic king was king only of his clan, not of an entire, unified nation. And, for another thing, a Celtic king was an elected king, not a hereditary one. So there was most likely an Arthur, but he was not at all remotely like the legendary figure. By many accounts, the real Arthur led a Celtic clan against the Roman occupation of Britain long before the year 543. But there was no such thing as a "Camelot." There were no Knights of the Round Table. (Knighthood was a concept brought over by the Normans--who hailed, of course, from the what is now French region of Normandy--after the Norman Conquest in 1066.) The whole Arthurian legend was, in fact, invented during medieval times. And that's why the legend has all of the high medieval trappings that we as modern people associate with it--that of a powerful king supported by a loyal legion of knights who all espouse the ideal of chivalry, yada, yada, yada. The real, historical Arthur was nothing like the legend.

So it's all bunk, people. It's no more real than the Transformers themselves are. :) But many people seem to think that it is. That bothers me. Hence, my rant. Sorry for that, folks! :)

Now that that's done, let's talk about the year 543 AD for a bit. 543 AD is smack-bang in the middle of the Dark Ages, not the middle ages. Hence almost everything that you see in this episode, TF invasion or no TF invasion, would not--repeat, not!--have happened in 543, and I'm not just talking about the fantasy dragons-and-magic stuff here. That's in a silly class all by itself. I'm talking about the "real" stuff here...

In 543, for instance, horses were not generally used in warfare. (That was another idea brought over by the Normans.) Horses were used to carry stuff and people and to pull carts and things, but no one charged into battle in 543 while riding a horse. So you would not have seen armored knights riding around the countryside in 543, as Sir Wagend and Wulf do in this episode. In fact, you would not have seen armored knights at all! The full plate, full body suits of armor that you see in the episode were not used until the late 1400s and then usually only for ceremonial purposes or for tournaments. Men did not generally walk around in full suits of armor. They couldn't have! They weighed too much! In addition, jousts and tournaments such as what you see in the episode did not become common in England until the 1100s (Again, after the Norman Conquest) and, in fact, were not really popular until the 1200s and onwards. The type of castle shown in the episode would not have existed in 543. (In fact, the castles in the episode look more like the kind of castles that were built in the 1700s and later--or the kind you'd find at Disneyland.) And, lastly, no one ever spoke the way that the human characters speak in this episode. "Thee" and "thou" and "thine," not to mention tacking an –st ending onto the end of almost every verb, were never, ever used in the everyday spoken language at any time in the history of the English language. Neither, of course, was modern English spoken in 543. :)

So, in essence, the episode is an amalgam of much later stuff mashed together and haphazardly dated to the 6th century. Totally inaccurate. Complete fantasy. Which, as I said, is all right in its way. It just bothers me that people think all this classically Arthurian stuff was real, and that it all existed in the Dark Ages. It wasn't and it didn't. So, when I watch this episode, my enjoyment of it is marred by the fact that it's misleading. I know, I know! It's just a silly Transformers episode and I should lighten up, but, since medieval English and French history is a passion of mine, it still it bugs me, nonetheless.

All of which is not to say that I don't like this episode. It's silly in the extreme, sure, but as a medieval history buff and a Starscream fan--and as a TF adaptation of a classic Mark Twain story--I just have to love it. If nothing else, I love it precisely because neither of the leaders, neither of whom I particularly like, are in it at all. :) (Except Megs' little cameo at the end.) I love it in that it's nicely animated for a G1 episode. I love the odd little bits like the obsession with birds pooping on Decepticons. :) Those things all either impress me or make me giggle, which are good things.

I merely wish that the episode had been dated to about…oh…maybe the 13th century rather than the 6th century, and that any mention of "Camelot" was expunged from it, and that some of the details were more historically accurate. That's what I would do, if I were to get my hands on it to rewrite it… I'd move the year up to 1243 instead of 543. I'd get rid of the "Camelot" references and therefore change the title, (even though, as I said, it is an homage to Mark Twain's "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court.") I'd probably change the Autobots involved with the story, mostly just because I'm not a big fan of either Warpath's or Hoist's, and there are other Autobot characters that I think would have a blast in medieval England. (Skids, anyone?? Hey, he was in "Triple Takeover!" Well, sort of... :) ) I'd keep the Decepticons just as they are, though, except maybe exchange Dirge for Ramjet, just because I like Dirge and he never gets to do anything. I'd definitely ditch Spike. And then somehow I'd have to overcome the fact that real medieval people would never so easily accept or interact with anything remotely resembling a TF… Well, it'd be a tough job, to say the least. But it also might be fun. In fact, I always said that one day I was going to do it, that I was going to write a historically accurate time-travelin' TF fanfic (Except that I'd always envisioned it set in the Middle East during the Crusades, for some odd reason)…and one day I just might do it… Consider that your warning... :)

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Great Moments

There aren't all that many, really...

The animation's nice in this episode, which is something that can not often be said about a G1 episode, so I like to point it out when it does happen. At the very least, there are no glaring errors that leap out at me, though I'm not the most observant person when it comes to that stuff...

Nightwind's vote for best line of the episode is, surprisingly, one of Ramjet's lines. It's the line he utters after he dislodges Wulf from his horse by bashing him with his conehead:
"Hah! Inferior construction, even for an Autobot. One good whack, and it breaks right in two!"

The recurring bird poop gag, as juvenile as it is, amuses me for some reason. I especially laugh when getting pooped upon apparently gives Starscream an idea... :) And I love it when, later, the birds seem to make friends with Rumble. Maybe Beachcomber's not the only TF who is in touch with nature... :)

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Totally Arbitrary Overall Rating, Just For the Heck of It

Oy, this is a tough one for me to rate! As I said, I've got a love/hate relationship with it. Still, when I can put aside my mixed feelings about it being based on a legend rather than historical fact, I rather enjoy this one. Starscream gets to have an uninterrupted power trip--and he actually does a decent job of leadership in it! No faction leaders are hanging around. Ramjet gets more than one line in the episode. (In fact, he gets the best one of them all, IMO.) Rumble has some fun. English accents abound. There's bird poop all over the place. And there's a nifty-looking dragon. I like dragons.

Weigh all that against the bits that irritate me about the episode and...Yeesh! What to give this thing for a rating...? Tough call, for me. Let's give it a...7, and just leave it there, shall we?