Episode List
Season One
Beast Wars
The Web
Equal Measures
Chain of Command
Power Surge
Fallen Comrades
Double Jeopardy
A Better Mousetrap
Gorilla Warfare
The Probe
Victory
Dark Designs
Double Dinobot
The Spark
The Trigger
Spider's Game
Call of the Wild
Dark Voyage
Possession
The Low Road
Law of the Jungle
Before the Storm
Other Voices
Season Two
Aftermath
Coming of the Fuzors
Tangled Web
Maximal No More
Other Visits
Bad Spark
Code of Hero
Transmutate
The Agenda
Season Three
Optimal Situation
Deep Metal
Changing of the Guard
Cutting Edge
Feral Scream
Proving Grounds
Go With the Flow
Crossing the Rubicon
Master Blaster
Other Victories
Nemesis
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And let it be called...BEAST WARS!
Ugh...What a truly blargh-worthy bit of the pilot episode of BW that was, huh? Bleagh! Ah well. Pilot episodes generally suck, anyway...except G1's, oddly enough... But anyway, here's where I stick the Beast Wars reviews. The episodes I've attacked so far have links in the list to the left. Click and read, you!
But then, if you've never yet read one of these things, before you go off to slog through my "wonderful" Guide to the Beast Wars episodes, you might want to check out this little primer first, so's ya knows just what to expect... :)
The information for each episode is broken down into six subsections. The following is a "brief" overview of what you'll find in each of them:
- ...In A Nutshell
- This is where I attempt to boil down all of the events of the given episode into one or two pithy (and hopefully somewhat amusing) sentences. I'll leave it entirely up to you to decide whether or not I've succeeded...
- All the Gruesome Details
- This is the part where I basically retell the events of the episode in descriptive (and, again, hopefully somewhat amusing) prose rather than in script form, sometimes down to the very dialogue itself. Be forewarned, for they can obviously be rather lengthy, especially when it comes to the multi-parters. Beware, too, of sarcastic asides and small random comments and observations inserted here and there in italics. And, lastly, also be forewarned that these "summaries" of course contain major spoilers, in case you've missed an episode here or there. (But don't worry; if you're not paying attention here, I warn you again at the last minute...)
- Nightwind's Unsolicited Opinions
- This is the part where I talk about the things in the episode that make me think. Sometimes, what you'll find here is an actual "textbook" criticism of the episode, detailing plot, character, theme, etc. But for the most part you won't find that stuff here. I truly believe that such criticisms get a little repetitive at times, both for you as the reader and for me as the writer. So rather than getting hopelessly bogged down in nitpicking the structural technicalities of the story, rather than concentrating on pointing out and ranting about all of the plot holes and plot devices and mysteries in the episodes, I've decided to instead offer up my thoughts on other issues that the episodes bring to mind. So, interwoven in this section, you'll find musings inspired by the episode at hand about philosophy, psychology, zoology, current events, extraterrestrial visitation, the nature of time — all kinds of stuff, really — along with the occasional discussion about the boring dramatic "mechanics" of the episode.
- Great Moments
- This is the part where I tell you my favorite things in the episode. It could be a line or two of dialogue, a cool visual effect, a nice little bit of continuity between episodes, an interesting piece of characterization, or just about anything else that strikes my fancy.
- Closed Captioning Weirdness
- The FOX Network apparently believed that hearing-impaired people might want to watch and enjoy Beast Wars. (And I myself am 80% deaf in one ear, so I applaud the idea. :) ) Because of that idea, the network went to the trouble and expense of closed-captioning all of the Beast Wars episodes. Trouble is, I often think that the captioners themselves were hearing-impaired because what comes up in the captions and what the characters actually say are often two very different things. Weirdness — and, in a few cases, utter hilarity — ensues. So for each episode, I've listed the instances when the captioning and the actual dialogue diverge, with the captioning's "version" first, the actual spoken "version" second, and the differences between them denoted in lovely blue.
- Totally Arbitrary Overall Rating, Just For the Heck Of It
- This is my overall rating of the episode, on a scale of 1 to 10. As such, they are totally arbitrary and completely subjective. But, hey, I figure that if Roger Ebert could do it, then so can I... :)
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